Focus On the Positive
I always encourage my audiences to focus on the positive. This is a powerful skill that can “turn the key” and shift the darkest of times into times of challenge and transformation. As Winston Churchill said, “These are not dark times; these are the greatest of times!
As in most areas of life, we can witness this skill by merely watching children. My former stepson, Scott, is a prime example. Early in his childhood, he showed tremendous ability at focusing on the positive.
One particular story comes to mind. Scott was just five years old and his mother, and I had not yet married. It was the holiday season. It was the first week of December and sharing our first Christmas together.
I went over to my fiancé’s house and it was completely redecorated with holiday regalia. She had wreathes, there were manger scenes, holly, and mistletoe all out and about.
I was truly amazed. I mean, being a single guy for all those years, my idea of decorating was, if I got any cards, I might set them out on the table!
Her house was festive. Here it was, only the first week of December and she had her tree up and fully decorated. She even had some packages under the tree for her children: her son Scott age five and her daughter age 12.
One of Scott’s gifts was a child’s bicycling helmet. He had been attracted to it because it had all kinds of dinosaur stickers that came with it. He had noticed it at the bicycle shop when his mother had purchased her bike a couple of months earlier. He begged for it endlessly. She had returned to the shop and it was now wrapped and resting beneath the decorated tree.
As my eyes fell across the package, I noticed a sticky, uniform residue just to the outside of the piece of adhesive tape.
Tape residue! The tape on the package had been opened and then resealed. Tape residue had marked the original seal! That’s what gave it away!
“Scott’s peeked inside this package,” I said to his mother.
“Oh, no. Surely not. Not my baby. He wouldn’t do such a thing,” she tried to assure me.
“Why not?! He’s a boy!” I countered. “Here, look at these tape markings.”
Sure enough. She had to admit that it looked as if he had.
We decided that we would make a game of it and ideally allow Scott to learn a lesson. We unwrapped the package and removed the helmet. In its place, we substituted a few pieces of charcoal briquettes. Yes, lumps of coal!
We started to talk around the dinner table about Christmas and how it’s such a magical time of the year. It’s chock full of goodness and wonderful rewards for the good. We discussed how those who were not so good were not so rewarded.
“You know, I remember a time when I was a small boy,” I jested with mock seriousness. “I was so curious about one gift that I peeked inside the package before Christmas morning. Boy was I upset when on Christmas morning when I opened the package and the gift had turned into a lump of coal!”
Christmas morning came, and the moment of “truth” had arrived. We all sat about opening our presents. Scott reached for that one fateful gift and his mother and I on the couch nudged one another in expectation.
Scott tore the wrappings from the box and shouted, “Oh boy, the helmet!”He continued to open the box. His mother and I looked on wondering how he would take to the carbon contents. When he undid the tissue and his eyes fell upon his blackened reality, he looked up, looked at me and then to his mother. His eyes fell again to the contents of the box. There was a moment when we were not sure if he would cry or not.
Then, he held the charcoal high above his head, a big smile christening his face as he shouted, “At least we can build a fire!”
This is our challenge.
Sometimes in our lives, our vision of how we think things should be just does not match up with the way things really are. We may feel angry, cheated, or frustrated. We may want to give up. We may wish to isolate ourselves from the company of others, and “Poor pitiful me!” is our cry.
We can gain strength and courage if we focus in on always looking for the positive in every situation. Don’t complain. Don’t criticize.. Instead, look for the good; the gift that the universe provides; the strength that is gained; the wisdom to be gleaned, and the lesson to be learned. Yes, this skill will take that chunk of charcoal and fire it up, to light within us the desire and the power to strive to new heights and new goals. Remember, charcoal with constant pressure, patience, and persistence will make a diamond.
What do Winston Churchill and Scott have in common? They take dark times and turn them into the greatest of times with a simple twist in perspective. They take their charcoal and turn it into fire. They mine their diamonds.
As you strive toward fulfillment in your lives, I encourage you to remember the words of a great man and to keep the attitude of a little boy. Live with the wisdom of Scott!
